Do you ever feel overlooked at work? Maybe you feel invisible in social situations or you wish you had the kind of presence that would make people sit up and notice. Have you ever felt like you gave everything you had to a relationship, only to be treated like gum on someone’s shoe? If this is sounding familiar or if you would just like to become better at gaining respect, then pay close attention to what I’m about to tell you. Respect is easy to gain if you learn how to communicate five important things. These five communication skills will make you the kind of person that people look up to and admire. We’ll look at five questions that will help you determine if you are communicating in a way that cause others to give you respect. Let’s start with number five.
5. Are you Savvy?
What does it mean to be savvy? Dictionary.com defines being savvy as having common sense and experience, being shrewd and well-informed. Being able to convey to others that you know what’s going on in the world and you will not allow others to take advantage of you or mistreat those you love, will communicate that you demand respect. In other words, you want to communicate that you have “boundaries”. You draw a line and let others know there will be consequences if they step over it. People respect those who have limits.
4. Do you give respect to others?
If you want to get respect you have to give respect. That seems like common sense but you'd be surprised at how many people forget this basic principal. Don't you remember your mama telling you to treat others the way you want to be treated? She was right, and she took that principal from the bible. If you use the principal of treating others the way you want to be treated then you will be surprised at how much nicer you will be to everyone, and how much nicer they will in turn be to you.
3. Are you secure?
Communicating that you are a secure person is fundamental to gaining respect from others. Secure people know who they are and they are not afraid if others like them or don’t like them. If you like them, great, but if you don’t, it’s your loss. A secure person communicates that he or she is not “needy”. This kind of person would like your approval but doesn’t have to have it. He or she is able to communicate wants and needs, but won’t fall apart if one person or system fails to meet his or her needs. That is because the secure person already knows that he or she is a worthwhile person and has a lot to offer. If one person doesn’t see that, someone else will. This kind of person gains the respect of others because it takes a lot of strength within oneself to be secure. Security comes from knowing that you are not perfect and you have flaws, but you know that you are striving towards becoming a better person. A secure person doesn’t need twenty million friends to prove that he or she is a likeable person.
2. Do you stand by your convictions?
Think about your favorite movie heroes. What do they all have in common? They stand up for what is right. They uphold justice. They don’t back down. They listen to their conscience. They may struggle and even be tempted to choose the wrong path, but in the end, they don’t give in to the inner struggle to do what is easy and convenient over doing what is right. We tend to give our respect to those people who are able to stand by their convictions. Why is that? Because we look up to those who care about the rights of others. We admire those people who can’t be bought and who don’t bow down to someone who flatters them or promises financial gain, if it means doing something wrong. What are convictions exactly? To be convicted means to hold to a strong persuasion or belief. It can also mean that you are convinced of error and are compelled to admit the truth. Think about those things in life that you wish you could get rid of. I’m not talking about the annoying pimple on your face. I’m talking about those problems in society that hurt others, such as child abuse, drugs, domestic violence, and a host of other things. These are the things you would like to do away with or do something about. On the positive side, there are things that you believe in that you would like to uphold. For example, maybe you stand by the belief that honesty is important, or you believe in the value of a good education. Your ability to communicate these things allows others to see the core of your being. It allows people to admire what you stand for and even follow your example. How does this apply to the business world? No one wants to do business with someone who can't stand by his or her convictions and who always takes the easy way out. We all want to work with and partner with those who have backbone and who know how to stand up for their principles, even when it's tough.
1. Do you have integrity?
Being a man or woman of integrity is the backbone of being truly respected. Have you ever had a boss who had little integrity in the workplace? What was your response to him or her? How about your coworkers? Those who don't have integrity are rarely trusted by others. To be successful in the business world you must be able to be trusted and respected, or you won't get very far, and if you do, your poor reputation will catch up with you eventually. How is your integrity with your friends and family? Here are some basic questions to ask yourself. Do you keep your word? If you say you will be somewhere do you follow through? If you make a promise do you keep it?
These are just a few principals to think about when it comes to becoming a person who is respected amongst your business associates, family and friends. You will never go wrong if you strive to be a person who is savvy, treats others with respect, shows security, stands by your convictions, and has integrity.
